As a result of a freak accident that felt an awful lot like a near death experience (white blinding lights and whatnot), I have developed a welt on my forehead that is akin to the beast that calls Mikhail Gorbachev’s shiny dome its humble abode It’s like a Harry Potter birthmark only it’s odious not ominous, and unfortunately it doesn’t come with an inherent knack for sorcery and won’t get me any cred or rep at Hogwart’s next semester when I try running through a brick wall (a.k.a. portal to Wizard Land!) again (only this time I’ll make it and my head won’t bleed!). Guess I’ll just have to sport the Nelly look for about a few days.
This one's for the horror fans and admirers of fantastically strange cinema
BAD BIOLOGY (08):
B-movie haters beware! Also, people that don’t appreciate exorbitant amounts of gratuitous nudity and sex and shockingly offensive and disturbing material pertaining to the subject of sex and reproductive anatomy should never lay eyes upon this twisted yet fascinating film.
Something this original but this spectacularly strange could only come from the warped mind of a perverted genius. And it did, in this humble horror fans opinion, because director Frank Henenlotter proved he was full of unique ideas in the ‘80s with Basket Case (’82) and the brilliant cult classic Brain Damage (’88), and it is clear that he has not lost his touch.
This is one filthy flick (it could almost be mistaken for a porno trying to be a really cool, subversive movie and succeeding) and it doesn’t have the highest of production values, but it does boast one hell-of-an intriguing and undeniably ballsy premise. I don’t want to say too much, but it wouldn’t spoil the fun of I did. There’s a chick with 7 clitorises and a boy with a monster cock (literally) with a mind of its own.
This is a tongue firmly in cheek, ridiculously over the top horror comedy about two members of opposite sexes with bizarre anatomical anomalies and the chaos that results when their lives intersect. Henenlotter wisely employs stop animation and puppetry for perfectly pertinent scenes and the choice noticeably enhances the surrealist effect that he is trying to achieve. It reminded me a bit of Team America World Police, because the actual events or dialogue are ridiculous and zany, but the use of puppetry takes it to the next level of comic genius.
I’m not going to lie: the low budget shows, but that’s part of the fun, because this movie doesn’t need big explosions to captivate: it’s got a biological nightmare and old school special FX to do that. Pop it in if you wanna see some skin and something really really different. But stay away if you don’t dig T & A and if you just can’t stand somewhat amateurish productions. Come to think of it, I’d be hard pressed to recommend this to just about anyone I know, but ‘80s horror fans will get their sh*ts and giggles watching this one-of-a-kind novelty that is sure to become a cult classic.
7.3/10
Friday, January 29, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
BRAZILIAN BADASSES AND THE FIRST FIBBER (ELITE SQUAD AND THE INVENTION OF LYING)
Two reviews today: Elite Squad is from a couple years back but probably just made it's way up to America fairly recently...it may be hard to find, but you should find it. Invention of Lying is a new DVD/Blu-ray release, which just hit the shelves on Tuesday, January 26th, 2010.
ELITE SQUAD (07):
Fans of the brilliant Brazilian movie City of God (04) need to check this out stat. This flick takes the viewer on another harrowing journey into the slums of Brazil. Only this time, we are treated to a contrasting (or alternative) point of view: we see the action through the eyes of a high-ranking member of a special unit of the police force.
It’s 1997, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and Captain Nascimento must select a replacement for his job as leader of the Tropa de Elite (Elite Squad), a unit composed only of the most talented (as in good at killing bad guys) and upstanding (as in good at killing bad cops) Dirty Harrys. In the mean time he must also take on dope dealers and criminal thugs in preparation for the arrival of the Pope.
This is like The Shield Brazilian-style, so seek it out if you dig intense crime dramas. Like City, this one’s got plenty of realistic action and bloodshed, yet also boasts great characters that are fully realized by good actors. In a way, this reminded me of The Hurt Locker (09), because we are presented with three in-depth characterizations, and the individuality and nature of each is well conceived and explored and utterly significant to the storyline, and ultimately to the chief insights and implications of the movie itself.
I expected a hardheaded action flick, but got more than I bargained for. Though it’s not quite on the same level of Supreme, Jaw-dropping, Cinematic Genius that I attribute to City of God, Elite Squad is another excellent expose on the Brazilian slums and the people and violence that exist there everyday. Hunt it down and see what the other half lives like, and what a different world it is for many of the folks down there who face or beget death nearly everyday.
8.5/10
THE INVENTION OF LYING (09):
I avoid romantic comedies like the plague or Scientologists, but this one had a promising premise so I gave it a try. It was a wise decision because I got quite a few laughs out of Ricky Gervais’ high-concept comedy. Imagine a world without lying: a world where everyone is like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar.
This alternative universe allows for ample hilarity, with the characters that inhabit it being brutally honest about everything from their immediate feelings about each other to the act of masturbation. The gimmick wears kind of thin eventually, especially because most of the jokes are aimed at poor genetics (what is this Gattaca?). But I could ignore this small weakness and the fact that the storyline gets rather predictable, because the laughs continue and boredom never set in.
In addition to a fine cast (Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Rob Lowe, Louis C.K.) the film is peppered with great cameos, serving up scenes with the likes of Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Bateman and Christopher Guest. It’s worth mentioning that the film has the gusto to insinuates that a world without lying is not in fact a better one, and that lying serves a valuable function in certain contexts. I rather appreciated this more comprehensive analysis of the phenomenon of the fib, and not the black and white good or bad and no in-between line of thought that typical genre fare may espouse.
If you enjoyed Ghost Town (08) you’ll love Invention. If you’re looking for a rom-com that your lady will love but that isn’t so overtly melodramatic and schmaltzy as to induce vomiting (and will in fact tickle your funny bone as well), then pop this sucker in the DVD/Blu-ray player. If you are a Ricky Gervais fan or have a case of the Mondays and just want to smile and forget the frustrations and grievances of the day, then you should give this a whirl.
7.1/10
ELITE SQUAD (07):
Fans of the brilliant Brazilian movie City of God (04) need to check this out stat. This flick takes the viewer on another harrowing journey into the slums of Brazil. Only this time, we are treated to a contrasting (or alternative) point of view: we see the action through the eyes of a high-ranking member of a special unit of the police force.
It’s 1997, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, and Captain Nascimento must select a replacement for his job as leader of the Tropa de Elite (Elite Squad), a unit composed only of the most talented (as in good at killing bad guys) and upstanding (as in good at killing bad cops) Dirty Harrys. In the mean time he must also take on dope dealers and criminal thugs in preparation for the arrival of the Pope.
This is like The Shield Brazilian-style, so seek it out if you dig intense crime dramas. Like City, this one’s got plenty of realistic action and bloodshed, yet also boasts great characters that are fully realized by good actors. In a way, this reminded me of The Hurt Locker (09), because we are presented with three in-depth characterizations, and the individuality and nature of each is well conceived and explored and utterly significant to the storyline, and ultimately to the chief insights and implications of the movie itself.
I expected a hardheaded action flick, but got more than I bargained for. Though it’s not quite on the same level of Supreme, Jaw-dropping, Cinematic Genius that I attribute to City of God, Elite Squad is another excellent expose on the Brazilian slums and the people and violence that exist there everyday. Hunt it down and see what the other half lives like, and what a different world it is for many of the folks down there who face or beget death nearly everyday.
8.5/10
THE INVENTION OF LYING (09):
I avoid romantic comedies like the plague or Scientologists, but this one had a promising premise so I gave it a try. It was a wise decision because I got quite a few laughs out of Ricky Gervais’ high-concept comedy. Imagine a world without lying: a world where everyone is like Jim Carrey in Liar Liar.
This alternative universe allows for ample hilarity, with the characters that inhabit it being brutally honest about everything from their immediate feelings about each other to the act of masturbation. The gimmick wears kind of thin eventually, especially because most of the jokes are aimed at poor genetics (what is this Gattaca?). But I could ignore this small weakness and the fact that the storyline gets rather predictable, because the laughs continue and boredom never set in.
In addition to a fine cast (Tina Fey, Jonah Hill, Rob Lowe, Louis C.K.) the film is peppered with great cameos, serving up scenes with the likes of Edward Norton, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jason Bateman and Christopher Guest. It’s worth mentioning that the film has the gusto to insinuates that a world without lying is not in fact a better one, and that lying serves a valuable function in certain contexts. I rather appreciated this more comprehensive analysis of the phenomenon of the fib, and not the black and white good or bad and no in-between line of thought that typical genre fare may espouse.
If you enjoyed Ghost Town (08) you’ll love Invention. If you’re looking for a rom-com that your lady will love but that isn’t so overtly melodramatic and schmaltzy as to induce vomiting (and will in fact tickle your funny bone as well), then pop this sucker in the DVD/Blu-ray player. If you are a Ricky Gervais fan or have a case of the Mondays and just want to smile and forget the frustrations and grievances of the day, then you should give this a whirl.
7.1/10
Sunday, January 24, 2010
2009 SCI-FI 2: WITH A VENGEANCE! (PANDORUM AND GAMER)
So, the Saints will be marching in to the Superbowl against the Mr. Manning and the Colts in two weeks. Whatever, I'm just excited about everybody else's excitement and the exorbitant amount of beer and munchies that will be available for my unbridled consumption. Huck it, chuck it, football!
And in movie news, apparently 2009 was even more fruitful in terms of sci-fi than I stated prior. Here are two more new releases (on DVD/Blu-ray Jan 19) with cool sci-fi elements.
PANDORUM (09)
Claustrophobic paranoid sci-fi thriller that I would liken to a hybridization of Event Horizon and The Descent: a.k.a. Event Descent. This movie is a mindf*ck (and that’s an understatement). It is confusing and disorienting, but I think that’s kind of the point.
I started to feel like I was one of the characters in the movie and began to wonder if I had developed a debilitating case of the crazies or if it was just them…or maybe none of us did…or some of us. Yeah, it’s nutty like that: it’ll dig its way into your skull and gnaw at your thoughts like an evil brain-eating gopher.
I don’t want to divulge too much in the way of plot, but essentially this is about two men (Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster) who wake up aboard a space ship with severe amnesia (no, this isn’t The Hangover 2: Space Headache). They are in the dark (literally and figuratively) along with the audience, which makes the mystery that much greater.
The sci-fi and horror elements mesh magnificently. There is bona fide terror and ample suspense and the revelations about the ship, its purpose, and how things got to this point are masterfully conceptualized and realized. It’s a slow, creepy buildup that gets progressively more insane and horrific throughout and challenges the audience by constantly toying with perceptions of reality.
So get prepped for a headtrip and watch this awesome dark sci-fi with a cool plot, decent acting, excellent cinematography, and an eerie, nerve-wracking musical score. Another great addition to the long list of good sci-fi flicks that dominated 2009.
7.7/10
GAMER (09):
Underrated action flick set in a psychedelic dystopian future where humans control other humans in multi-player online gaming environments. I expected a decent but throwaway action movie, but got slightly more. The intriguing sci-fi element and the thought-provoking and timely social commentary were a pleasant surprise. It reminded me of Wall-E in the sense that people have socially isolated themselves and experience life primarily through technology.
Gerard Butler is the unwilling avatar who just wants to live long enough to break free and see his family, and as usual, Mr. 300 is quite believable as a determined warrior with a mission. Dexter (Michael C. Hall) is a bit over the top as the villainous puppet master bent on global domination. But, his performance fits, because much of the movie is comic-bookish and flippant in tone.
This is from the duo that brought us the Crank movies, and anyone that has seen either of those darkly humorous, hyperkinetic action flicks has a good idea of what to expect with Gamer. The pacing isn’t perfect. To be blunt, the fast-paced slapdash editing bred confusion at times, and certain story aspects and particular scenes were rushed, but the movie still captivates and that’s the bottom line.
Video game aficionados will have a better appreciation for the premise, “game play,” and notions about the future of gaming. While I am no “gamer,” most of my friends would fall under this category/label, and I have observed the evolution of gaming and pondered its implications on social life and perceptions of reality. As far as I can tell, we’re not too far off from a potential future much like the one depicted in this film: one where gaming has dominated pop culture and people live (vicariously through avatars) in a Sim City-like online society and play Grand Theft Auto (with human avatars) for fun.
The level of pleasure and satisfaction you derive from this film, and invariably all others, depends largely upon your expectations. Do yourself a favor and set your expecs low or take the movie at face value as an exercise in mindless entertainment and gratuitous violence and be euphorically surprised with a provocative premise and trippy visuals (watch out hippies, this one might cause acid flashbacks). The film has no pretensions and as long as you leave yours at the door you’ll have a fun time with this action romp.
7.1/10
And in movie news, apparently 2009 was even more fruitful in terms of sci-fi than I stated prior. Here are two more new releases (on DVD/Blu-ray Jan 19) with cool sci-fi elements.
PANDORUM (09)
Claustrophobic paranoid sci-fi thriller that I would liken to a hybridization of Event Horizon and The Descent: a.k.a. Event Descent. This movie is a mindf*ck (and that’s an understatement). It is confusing and disorienting, but I think that’s kind of the point.
I started to feel like I was one of the characters in the movie and began to wonder if I had developed a debilitating case of the crazies or if it was just them…or maybe none of us did…or some of us. Yeah, it’s nutty like that: it’ll dig its way into your skull and gnaw at your thoughts like an evil brain-eating gopher.
I don’t want to divulge too much in the way of plot, but essentially this is about two men (Dennis Quaid and Ben Foster) who wake up aboard a space ship with severe amnesia (no, this isn’t The Hangover 2: Space Headache). They are in the dark (literally and figuratively) along with the audience, which makes the mystery that much greater.
The sci-fi and horror elements mesh magnificently. There is bona fide terror and ample suspense and the revelations about the ship, its purpose, and how things got to this point are masterfully conceptualized and realized. It’s a slow, creepy buildup that gets progressively more insane and horrific throughout and challenges the audience by constantly toying with perceptions of reality.
So get prepped for a headtrip and watch this awesome dark sci-fi with a cool plot, decent acting, excellent cinematography, and an eerie, nerve-wracking musical score. Another great addition to the long list of good sci-fi flicks that dominated 2009.
7.7/10
GAMER (09):
Underrated action flick set in a psychedelic dystopian future where humans control other humans in multi-player online gaming environments. I expected a decent but throwaway action movie, but got slightly more. The intriguing sci-fi element and the thought-provoking and timely social commentary were a pleasant surprise. It reminded me of Wall-E in the sense that people have socially isolated themselves and experience life primarily through technology.
Gerard Butler is the unwilling avatar who just wants to live long enough to break free and see his family, and as usual, Mr. 300 is quite believable as a determined warrior with a mission. Dexter (Michael C. Hall) is a bit over the top as the villainous puppet master bent on global domination. But, his performance fits, because much of the movie is comic-bookish and flippant in tone.
This is from the duo that brought us the Crank movies, and anyone that has seen either of those darkly humorous, hyperkinetic action flicks has a good idea of what to expect with Gamer. The pacing isn’t perfect. To be blunt, the fast-paced slapdash editing bred confusion at times, and certain story aspects and particular scenes were rushed, but the movie still captivates and that’s the bottom line.
Video game aficionados will have a better appreciation for the premise, “game play,” and notions about the future of gaming. While I am no “gamer,” most of my friends would fall under this category/label, and I have observed the evolution of gaming and pondered its implications on social life and perceptions of reality. As far as I can tell, we’re not too far off from a potential future much like the one depicted in this film: one where gaming has dominated pop culture and people live (vicariously through avatars) in a Sim City-like online society and play Grand Theft Auto (with human avatars) for fun.
The level of pleasure and satisfaction you derive from this film, and invariably all others, depends largely upon your expectations. Do yourself a favor and set your expecs low or take the movie at face value as an exercise in mindless entertainment and gratuitous violence and be euphorically surprised with a provocative premise and trippy visuals (watch out hippies, this one might cause acid flashbacks). The film has no pretensions and as long as you leave yours at the door you’ll have a fun time with this action romp.
7.1/10
Thursday, January 21, 2010
CLOWN BOMBS AND COLD KILLERS (SMOKIN' ACES 2 AND WHITEOUT)
Water still falling from the sky. Afraid of the cold, damp world outside, so I retreat into my Couch World and recline. My eyes have been glued to screens and my mind speaks through fingertips, so here's two more movie reviews. These two just came out on DVD on Tuesday (Jan, 19, 2010).
SMOKIN’ ACES 2: ASSASSIN’S BALL (10):
This is a direct-to-video (DTV) sequel (well, actually prequel) to the cult hit from the mind of native Sacramentan Joe Carnahan. Carnahan was busy making the A-Team (yeah, a movie based on that ‘80s show with Mr. T) so he gave the directing reins to P.J. Pesce, so lower your expectations but not too much, because this is about as good as DTV gets.
It’s a crass, cartoonish exercise in gratuitous violence, but it’s a fine piece of trashy entertainment. If you seek something cerebral, get your big brain away from this low-brow cash cow teeming with messy mayhem and a few nuggets of delicious dark comedy. The premise is pretty much the same: the FBI catches wind of a hit on one of their own, agent/analyst Walter Weed, and tries to protect him from a handful of the world’s greatest killers.
There’s hardly a minute spent (or wasted) on character development, and there could have been a bit more background info regarding some of the assassins (they are hardly more than caricatures but at least they are interesting ones). Some of the acting feels a bit amateurish, but Vinnie Jones is fine in his typical tough brute role, Clayne Crawford is surprisingly good (though somewhat inconsistent), and Tom Berenger is the best among the bunch as Walter Weed, the marked man.
The action is a bit rushed, but often inspired. P.J. Pesce employs some stylistic flourishes here and there, and while his low budget shows, he did a damn decent job with a measly $7 million. Besides, any movie with an exploding clown is awesome, and here we get two (and they’re midgets!), so this gets major points in my book. The Usual Suspects-inspired ending is genuinely surprising and while it feels somewhat hackneyed and forced, it is a great twist (with an even more shocking twist that follows) and is handled deftly.
If you seek a bare-bones action flick this should suffice. Fans of the original movie will likely be a bit disappointed, but I found this rough-and-tumble slice of entertainment a mixed bag: half of the popcorn in the bag is soaked in delicious artery-clogging movie theater butter and half is undercooked. It’s a half-baked action flick that gets better as the film progresses. Check it out, but go in with the right attitude (as in get half-baked yourself, heh heh, just kidding). Just don’t complain to me about the lack of substance, because this is an action movie not a French arthouse flick. Worth a rent for action junkies or clown-haters.
6.5/10
WHITEOUT (09)
Russians, diamonds…plane crash…killer on the loose in Antarctica…blah, blah, blah. Most important lesson learned: Kate Beckinsale is still hot when she’s cold. Mediocre (at best) thriller that goes through the motions, but offers nothing we haven’t seen before in better films.
The screenwriters should have used Wite Out on some of the script. Or changed the title to Blackout, because a pitch-black screen with unseen characters journeying through utter darkness may have been more intriguing than most of this film. I’m being a bit harsh, because the movie really isn’t that bad: it just really isn’t that good.
Granted, there were some genuine thrills and chills (forgive me, I love bad puns) and I kept watching so it was entertaining enough to distract me from real life for the duration…but that’s not hard to do. I’ve caught myself staring at blank walls for about half this film’s length. I could stare at a monkey wearing a cowboy hat for a few days before I got bored or even thought to scratch my genitals (which would itch pretty bad by then probably).
Anyways, it starts out kind of well and gets progressively more generic and predictable. It’s like almost every other killer-thriller ever, except…it’s cold as ice (as the band Foreigner would say) because it’s freakin’ Antarctica. So, my advice is download it if you love thrillers (which I do) or carry a torch for Kate Beckinsale (which she would have appreciated ‘cuz of the coldness) or watch it if it happens to be on at your friend’s place but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
5.5/10
SMOKIN’ ACES 2: ASSASSIN’S BALL (10):
This is a direct-to-video (DTV) sequel (well, actually prequel) to the cult hit from the mind of native Sacramentan Joe Carnahan. Carnahan was busy making the A-Team (yeah, a movie based on that ‘80s show with Mr. T) so he gave the directing reins to P.J. Pesce, so lower your expectations but not too much, because this is about as good as DTV gets.
It’s a crass, cartoonish exercise in gratuitous violence, but it’s a fine piece of trashy entertainment. If you seek something cerebral, get your big brain away from this low-brow cash cow teeming with messy mayhem and a few nuggets of delicious dark comedy. The premise is pretty much the same: the FBI catches wind of a hit on one of their own, agent/analyst Walter Weed, and tries to protect him from a handful of the world’s greatest killers.
There’s hardly a minute spent (or wasted) on character development, and there could have been a bit more background info regarding some of the assassins (they are hardly more than caricatures but at least they are interesting ones). Some of the acting feels a bit amateurish, but Vinnie Jones is fine in his typical tough brute role, Clayne Crawford is surprisingly good (though somewhat inconsistent), and Tom Berenger is the best among the bunch as Walter Weed, the marked man.
The action is a bit rushed, but often inspired. P.J. Pesce employs some stylistic flourishes here and there, and while his low budget shows, he did a damn decent job with a measly $7 million. Besides, any movie with an exploding clown is awesome, and here we get two (and they’re midgets!), so this gets major points in my book. The Usual Suspects-inspired ending is genuinely surprising and while it feels somewhat hackneyed and forced, it is a great twist (with an even more shocking twist that follows) and is handled deftly.
If you seek a bare-bones action flick this should suffice. Fans of the original movie will likely be a bit disappointed, but I found this rough-and-tumble slice of entertainment a mixed bag: half of the popcorn in the bag is soaked in delicious artery-clogging movie theater butter and half is undercooked. It’s a half-baked action flick that gets better as the film progresses. Check it out, but go in with the right attitude (as in get half-baked yourself, heh heh, just kidding). Just don’t complain to me about the lack of substance, because this is an action movie not a French arthouse flick. Worth a rent for action junkies or clown-haters.
6.5/10
WHITEOUT (09)
Russians, diamonds…plane crash…killer on the loose in Antarctica…blah, blah, blah. Most important lesson learned: Kate Beckinsale is still hot when she’s cold. Mediocre (at best) thriller that goes through the motions, but offers nothing we haven’t seen before in better films.
The screenwriters should have used Wite Out on some of the script. Or changed the title to Blackout, because a pitch-black screen with unseen characters journeying through utter darkness may have been more intriguing than most of this film. I’m being a bit harsh, because the movie really isn’t that bad: it just really isn’t that good.
Granted, there were some genuine thrills and chills (forgive me, I love bad puns) and I kept watching so it was entertaining enough to distract me from real life for the duration…but that’s not hard to do. I’ve caught myself staring at blank walls for about half this film’s length. I could stare at a monkey wearing a cowboy hat for a few days before I got bored or even thought to scratch my genitals (which would itch pretty bad by then probably).
Anyways, it starts out kind of well and gets progressively more generic and predictable. It’s like almost every other killer-thriller ever, except…it’s cold as ice (as the band Foreigner would say) because it’s freakin’ Antarctica. So, my advice is download it if you love thrillers (which I do) or carry a torch for Kate Beckinsale (which she would have appreciated ‘cuz of the coldness) or watch it if it happens to be on at your friend’s place but don’t say that I didn’t warn you.
5.5/10
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
THE BEST OF THE IRAQ WAR MOVIES (THE HURT LOCKER AND IN THE LOOP)
It’s raining lions and pitbulls outside right now. It looks like the apocalypse. I half expect my doorbell to ring and the Four Horsemen to be standing there all doom and gloom…nope…just the peppy UPS guy with a package. A package of death!
Anyways, it’s war time. Er..time to review films about the subject of the Iraq War. Unlike the war, these films are good, so you should watch them.
THE HURT LOCKER (09):
I smell an Oscar or two. This explosive thriller is one of the year’s best films and the best to date to tackle the topic of the Iraq War. Hurt Locker is riveting, grabbing you by the throat from the first scene and never letting go. The action is extremely realistic, which heightens the impact and level of intensity to a pants-pissing degree. And by that I mean, you might actually forget that you’re not there for a second and wet trou because this flick is as raw as red meat ripped straight from the belly of a beast and rubbed in our Vegan faces.
Director Kathryn Bigelow (Near Dark, Point Break, Strange Days) has a great sense of visual style and character, and never has this been clearer as with this film (I mean, Keanu as a surfer was genius, but also a no-brainer). Big-budget blockbusters with constant explosions cannot match the tense thrills that Hurt Locker serves up. I was genuinely concerned each time the squad was called into action. Seeing all the Iraqi people standing quietly and staring at him (or filming the squad) as he approached a potential IED was ten times more nerve-wracking than watching Jason Statham or Bruce Willis avoid a CGI bullet in slow-motion.
The film delves deep into human psychology. It deals with the primary characters in great depth, forcing the audience’s emotional investment but not in a heavy-handed or overly melodramatic manner. To his credit, virtual unknown Jeremy Renner nails his role and breathes life into a complex character with a brilliant, career-making performance. Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty are pitch-perfect as the other members of the elite bomb squad. They are far more than mere caricatures and we genuinely want to see them make it through the film, nervously biting our nails and sweating along with them as they encounter enemy snipers and suicide bombers.
The cinematographer creates a documentary style atmosphere, successfully putting the viewer on the edge of the scene so that you feel that you are there with the characters. While some familiar faces pop up here and there (Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, and David Morse) for a quick cameo, the primary cast consists of unknown actors (mentioned above). This was a wise and necessary decision, because our protagonist and his squad would not be so believable if their shoes were filled by the likes of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.
The Iraq War is the first to involve or be characterized by IEDs, so presenting us with a story about a bomb de-fuser is perfectly relevant. It successfully placed me in the shoes of an American soldier in Iraq and gave me insight into what the war is really like over there (and what contemporary warfare itself is like). This is probably the best film I’ve seen from ’09 thus far (not necessarily my favorite though), so my apologies if I’ve overdone it with the singing of its praises and whatnot. But, damnit, job well done Bigelow & Co. Hope you get the much deserved Best Director Honors at the Oscars, so your ex James Cameron doesn’t get all the glory. Highly recommended.
9.3/10
IN THE LOOP (09):
The brilliant lovechild of Dr. Strangelove and This is Spinal Tap, this caustic mockumentary is the smartest comedy of the year. Director Armondo Ianucci has created a frighteningly insightful film filled with magnificently mordant wit.
Every scene (even the deleted ones) is peppered with clever dialogue and so many sardonic one-liners that you’re likely to miss the next one while still in the throes of laughter from the previous creative obscenity or sassy comment.
Ostensibly, it is a scathing political satire offering the viewer a behind the scenes look at the events and people that essentially predetermined the Iraq War. Of course, this is a fictional account with fictional characters, but the media circus and information manipulation are all too real.
The film benefits from a game ensemble cast including James Galdolfini as an armchair general, Tom Hollander as the inept British Minister of International Development (who becomes quite the clown in the center of a media circus after declaring that war is unforeseeable) and Peter Capaldi, who steals the show as the Director of Communications and winner of the most inventive vulgarity-laden insult competition. The rest of the players are excellent in their roles as well, particularly Chris Addison as the Hollander’s bumbling assistant.
While it never mentions the Iraq War by name, it is pretty clear that this cynical farce was designed with that fiasco in mind. BBC watchers and lovers of humour from across the pond will love this foul-mouthed comedy, as will anyone who ever wanted to see the New York Friar’s club roast members of our government (Not that this literally happens).
In the Loop serves up a hot dish of political theater and exposes the dark side of diplomacy and bureaucracy. Every one has their own self-serving agenda, and they all put their own spin on things as a means to an end. It is a fast-paced, riotously funny comedy, but when you stop to think about its message and implications it is rather dark and scary. Highly recommended. Apparently, this is rather similar to the BBC show The Thick of It (which director Armando Ianucci writes for and which I have yet to see), so check that out if you fancied this farce.
8.6/10
Anyways, it’s war time. Er..time to review films about the subject of the Iraq War. Unlike the war, these films are good, so you should watch them.
THE HURT LOCKER (09):
I smell an Oscar or two. This explosive thriller is one of the year’s best films and the best to date to tackle the topic of the Iraq War. Hurt Locker is riveting, grabbing you by the throat from the first scene and never letting go. The action is extremely realistic, which heightens the impact and level of intensity to a pants-pissing degree. And by that I mean, you might actually forget that you’re not there for a second and wet trou because this flick is as raw as red meat ripped straight from the belly of a beast and rubbed in our Vegan faces.
Director Kathryn Bigelow (Near Dark, Point Break, Strange Days) has a great sense of visual style and character, and never has this been clearer as with this film (I mean, Keanu as a surfer was genius, but also a no-brainer). Big-budget blockbusters with constant explosions cannot match the tense thrills that Hurt Locker serves up. I was genuinely concerned each time the squad was called into action. Seeing all the Iraqi people standing quietly and staring at him (or filming the squad) as he approached a potential IED was ten times more nerve-wracking than watching Jason Statham or Bruce Willis avoid a CGI bullet in slow-motion.
The film delves deep into human psychology. It deals with the primary characters in great depth, forcing the audience’s emotional investment but not in a heavy-handed or overly melodramatic manner. To his credit, virtual unknown Jeremy Renner nails his role and breathes life into a complex character with a brilliant, career-making performance. Anthony Mackie and Brian Geraghty are pitch-perfect as the other members of the elite bomb squad. They are far more than mere caricatures and we genuinely want to see them make it through the film, nervously biting our nails and sweating along with them as they encounter enemy snipers and suicide bombers.
The cinematographer creates a documentary style atmosphere, successfully putting the viewer on the edge of the scene so that you feel that you are there with the characters. While some familiar faces pop up here and there (Guy Pearce, Ralph Fiennes, and David Morse) for a quick cameo, the primary cast consists of unknown actors (mentioned above). This was a wise and necessary decision, because our protagonist and his squad would not be so believable if their shoes were filled by the likes of Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise.
The Iraq War is the first to involve or be characterized by IEDs, so presenting us with a story about a bomb de-fuser is perfectly relevant. It successfully placed me in the shoes of an American soldier in Iraq and gave me insight into what the war is really like over there (and what contemporary warfare itself is like). This is probably the best film I’ve seen from ’09 thus far (not necessarily my favorite though), so my apologies if I’ve overdone it with the singing of its praises and whatnot. But, damnit, job well done Bigelow & Co. Hope you get the much deserved Best Director Honors at the Oscars, so your ex James Cameron doesn’t get all the glory. Highly recommended.
9.3/10
IN THE LOOP (09):
The brilliant lovechild of Dr. Strangelove and This is Spinal Tap, this caustic mockumentary is the smartest comedy of the year. Director Armondo Ianucci has created a frighteningly insightful film filled with magnificently mordant wit.
Every scene (even the deleted ones) is peppered with clever dialogue and so many sardonic one-liners that you’re likely to miss the next one while still in the throes of laughter from the previous creative obscenity or sassy comment.
Ostensibly, it is a scathing political satire offering the viewer a behind the scenes look at the events and people that essentially predetermined the Iraq War. Of course, this is a fictional account with fictional characters, but the media circus and information manipulation are all too real.
The film benefits from a game ensemble cast including James Galdolfini as an armchair general, Tom Hollander as the inept British Minister of International Development (who becomes quite the clown in the center of a media circus after declaring that war is unforeseeable) and Peter Capaldi, who steals the show as the Director of Communications and winner of the most inventive vulgarity-laden insult competition. The rest of the players are excellent in their roles as well, particularly Chris Addison as the Hollander’s bumbling assistant.
While it never mentions the Iraq War by name, it is pretty clear that this cynical farce was designed with that fiasco in mind. BBC watchers and lovers of humour from across the pond will love this foul-mouthed comedy, as will anyone who ever wanted to see the New York Friar’s club roast members of our government (Not that this literally happens).
In the Loop serves up a hot dish of political theater and exposes the dark side of diplomacy and bureaucracy. Every one has their own self-serving agenda, and they all put their own spin on things as a means to an end. It is a fast-paced, riotously funny comedy, but when you stop to think about its message and implications it is rather dark and scary. Highly recommended. Apparently, this is rather similar to the BBC show The Thick of It (which director Armando Ianucci writes for and which I have yet to see), so check that out if you fancied this farce.
8.6/10
Sunday, January 17, 2010
A SEXY SUCCUBUS AND A MULTI-NARRATIVE DOWNER (JENNIFER'S BODY AND THE BURNING PLAIN)
JENNIFER’S BODY (09):
Megan Fox is the kind of eye candy that makes me forget to blink. Unfortunately, this is not “Megan’s Body” it is her character’s and while it’s on display, lusty male viewers who picked this up primarily because the word “body” and the image of Ms. Fox were prominently featured on the cover may be sorely disappointed in the lack of exposed skin.
I, however, was pleasantly surprised with this strange little horror comedy. It’s not particularly scary or funny, but it has a quirky charm that owes a lot to the same breed of hipster dialogue that earned Diablo Cody a Best Screenplay Oscar for Juno in 2007. While the smarmy, cooler-than-thou lines wear thin at times, I rather enjoyed much of the creative insults, name-calling, and so bad they’re good puns.
The premise itself is original and makes for fun viewing. Ms. Fox plays Jessica, her high school’s popular It girl who is bored with her Podunk town and gets seduced by a run-of-the-mill indie rock band with intentions of sacrificing a virgin to the Devil in exchange for a record deal and international fame and fortune.
Let’s just say things don’t go exactly as planned and Jessica returns to town with a bloodlust, using her control over the male libido to meet her murderous agenda. While it’s not a laugh out loud riot, Cody’s biting wit is used to great effect in certain scenes, and I must admit I found this tale of a seductive succubus rather amusing. Worth a rental if you dig dark comedies that mainly aim to entertain.
6.3/10
THE BURNING PLAIN (09):
Guillermo Arriaga (writer of Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada) tries his hand at directing and his first foray reveals some talent behind the camera. I would watch if he has another go at it, but writing is still his strong suit.
Mr. Arriaga is skilled at telling tales involving several characters and storylines, connecting the dots to weave an intricate tapestry. This multi-narrative melodrama has less of an impact than his four aforementioned films. Perhaps it is the utterly dire and dreary tone of the film and the characters that inhabit it.
Don’t get me wrong, I was thoroughly captivated by the people and their plight, but the movie is mired in misery and thus the viewer is as well. Still, the stories and performances (particularly Charlize Theron) are gripping enough and Arriaga skillfully ties them together.
There is an intriguing twist (and not the kind you would normally expect) in the beginning of the third act, though by this point many may see it coming or have already guessed the gimmick. In the end, we are left to contemplate a bleak tale of loss, guilt and redemption.
This is Mr. Arriaga’s weakest film, and yet it is still a provocative drama well worth a look, especially for fans of any of his previous works. If you’re looking for a pick-me-up after a bad day, this DVD is screaming “put-me-down,” but if you’re in the mood for a heavy drama with some heavy-handed symbolism you should check this out.
6.9/10
Megan Fox is the kind of eye candy that makes me forget to blink. Unfortunately, this is not “Megan’s Body” it is her character’s and while it’s on display, lusty male viewers who picked this up primarily because the word “body” and the image of Ms. Fox were prominently featured on the cover may be sorely disappointed in the lack of exposed skin.
I, however, was pleasantly surprised with this strange little horror comedy. It’s not particularly scary or funny, but it has a quirky charm that owes a lot to the same breed of hipster dialogue that earned Diablo Cody a Best Screenplay Oscar for Juno in 2007. While the smarmy, cooler-than-thou lines wear thin at times, I rather enjoyed much of the creative insults, name-calling, and so bad they’re good puns.
The premise itself is original and makes for fun viewing. Ms. Fox plays Jessica, her high school’s popular It girl who is bored with her Podunk town and gets seduced by a run-of-the-mill indie rock band with intentions of sacrificing a virgin to the Devil in exchange for a record deal and international fame and fortune.
Let’s just say things don’t go exactly as planned and Jessica returns to town with a bloodlust, using her control over the male libido to meet her murderous agenda. While it’s not a laugh out loud riot, Cody’s biting wit is used to great effect in certain scenes, and I must admit I found this tale of a seductive succubus rather amusing. Worth a rental if you dig dark comedies that mainly aim to entertain.
6.3/10
THE BURNING PLAIN (09):
Guillermo Arriaga (writer of Amores Perros, 21 Grams, Babel and The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada) tries his hand at directing and his first foray reveals some talent behind the camera. I would watch if he has another go at it, but writing is still his strong suit.
Mr. Arriaga is skilled at telling tales involving several characters and storylines, connecting the dots to weave an intricate tapestry. This multi-narrative melodrama has less of an impact than his four aforementioned films. Perhaps it is the utterly dire and dreary tone of the film and the characters that inhabit it.
Don’t get me wrong, I was thoroughly captivated by the people and their plight, but the movie is mired in misery and thus the viewer is as well. Still, the stories and performances (particularly Charlize Theron) are gripping enough and Arriaga skillfully ties them together.
There is an intriguing twist (and not the kind you would normally expect) in the beginning of the third act, though by this point many may see it coming or have already guessed the gimmick. In the end, we are left to contemplate a bleak tale of loss, guilt and redemption.
This is Mr. Arriaga’s weakest film, and yet it is still a provocative drama well worth a look, especially for fans of any of his previous works. If you’re looking for a pick-me-up after a bad day, this DVD is screaming “put-me-down,” but if you’re in the mood for a heavy drama with some heavy-handed symbolism you should check this out.
6.9/10
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Futuristic Vampires and a Bloody Mess (Daybreakers and Halloween II)
DAYBREAKERS (10):
This ain’t Twilight, kiddies! You won’t find any glowing, amorous fang-bearing heartthrobs for pre-teen girls to drool over in this decidedly darker vampire tale. This is more reminiscent of Blade (98) in terms of story, tone, and bloodletting.
And that’s a relief, because I’m tired of this schmaltzy romantic vampire trend (don’t get me wrong though, HBO’s True Blood is the shiznit, but it manages to mix the romantic element in to a show with a lot more to offer than some hunky dude with fangs). Vampires are supposed to be seductive and sexualized but in a creepy way; in my book, they shouldn’t look like they’re in a teenybopper boy band.
However, while I enjoyed Daybreakers and its darker depiction of Dracula’s brethren, it is not without fault. In fact, many ideas and scenes were slightly (to overtly) ridiculous to the point that they detracted greatly from the movie as a whole. Not to mention an all-too abrupt, lame ending. Still, the premise itself was excellent (though not entirely original, in the sense that humans have been used as an energy source in movies such as the Matrix) and there were many ideas and scenes that were cooler than MC Hammer’s pants (in the ‘80s when he dropped his first album, of course).
The Spiereg brothers did a good job alluding to the issue of dwindling resources (i.e. food, oil, water, etc. in place of blood) in our own society and provide a terrifying allegory about what our future may hold (i.e. the rich and elite may still be able to afford oil and water but others will wither and die). The movie effectively serves as a metaphor for (and denunciation of) corporate greed and its human cost, suggesting that corporations are sucking the life’s blood right out of us (literally!). Also, the military claims it is looking for blood substitutes (a.k.a. sustainable resources) but in reality its only concern is more profit.
The Subsiders, (bloodstarved mutant vampires) were an ingenious addition to vampire lore and WETA (the Kiwis who made Gollum and friends look so good in Lord of the Rings) does an exceptional job with the creature effects. The acting is decent enough (though not great by any means) and the cinematography is superb. The story is well crafted, but as I said a couple of the brothers’ brainchildren should never have been born…or well…should have been aborted. Namely, the vampire cure, which I will not divulge here, but we’ll just say I was less than impressed with that one and the way it was presented and handled (not that I have a better idea, mind you).
Also, the film is somewhat schizophrenic and felt as if it were two different movies at times. It started off well with a grim, thoughtful tone, somehow reminding me of Gattaca (97) with vampires. At some point, the tone shifted and the movie went from creepy dark sci-fi thriller to a poorly paced wannabe action movie with less-than clever dialogue. Then the two merge into one and the movie peters out into something pretty badass, but the not-so spectacular tacked-on ending left me a bit dissatisfied.
Gorehounds will probably get their fill, those infatuated with bloodsuckers will get an intriguing and unique sci-fi spin on the genre, and the ponderers will get a bit to think about. But all in all, it’s just a fun, dark ride that you probably won’t remember all that well in a year or two.
7.5/10
HALLOWEEN II (09):
Buckets of blood, but not as many buckets as I expected. Zombie spares viewers some of the bloodshed, merely showing the thrust of the knife in several scenes. Of course, faces still get stomped, blood does spatter on walls, and necks get snapped like twigs every fifteen minutes or so, but I was surprised with Zombie’s decision to “cop out” with certain kills (I mean, his last name is Zombie).
Still, this is a sick, twisted flick, but fans of Zombie’s first take on the franchise will likely be disappointed. As will pretty much anyone else. It’s still worth a rental for avid slasher aficionados such as myself and even the casual horror fan, but other viewers should probably steer clear (in fact, veer off the road and over a cliff to get away from this mess if you have to).
I liked the “White Horse” element and the Friday the 13th/Psycho-style mommie obsession rip-off/addition to the story (especially how Mother and the childish version of Michael Myers guide the titular killer). It’s somewhat entertaining, I dug the brutality of many of the murders and the film is kind of scary in this regard at times. But, the lack of genuine suspense, the absence of the mask (which is where Mr. Myers derived much of his power to frighten), the excessively curse-laden and often weak as a cripple dialogue, and the by-the-numbers nature of the whole show left me rather crestfallen.
5.4/10
This ain’t Twilight, kiddies! You won’t find any glowing, amorous fang-bearing heartthrobs for pre-teen girls to drool over in this decidedly darker vampire tale. This is more reminiscent of Blade (98) in terms of story, tone, and bloodletting.
And that’s a relief, because I’m tired of this schmaltzy romantic vampire trend (don’t get me wrong though, HBO’s True Blood is the shiznit, but it manages to mix the romantic element in to a show with a lot more to offer than some hunky dude with fangs). Vampires are supposed to be seductive and sexualized but in a creepy way; in my book, they shouldn’t look like they’re in a teenybopper boy band.
However, while I enjoyed Daybreakers and its darker depiction of Dracula’s brethren, it is not without fault. In fact, many ideas and scenes were slightly (to overtly) ridiculous to the point that they detracted greatly from the movie as a whole. Not to mention an all-too abrupt, lame ending. Still, the premise itself was excellent (though not entirely original, in the sense that humans have been used as an energy source in movies such as the Matrix) and there were many ideas and scenes that were cooler than MC Hammer’s pants (in the ‘80s when he dropped his first album, of course).
The Spiereg brothers did a good job alluding to the issue of dwindling resources (i.e. food, oil, water, etc. in place of blood) in our own society and provide a terrifying allegory about what our future may hold (i.e. the rich and elite may still be able to afford oil and water but others will wither and die). The movie effectively serves as a metaphor for (and denunciation of) corporate greed and its human cost, suggesting that corporations are sucking the life’s blood right out of us (literally!). Also, the military claims it is looking for blood substitutes (a.k.a. sustainable resources) but in reality its only concern is more profit.
The Subsiders, (bloodstarved mutant vampires) were an ingenious addition to vampire lore and WETA (the Kiwis who made Gollum and friends look so good in Lord of the Rings) does an exceptional job with the creature effects. The acting is decent enough (though not great by any means) and the cinematography is superb. The story is well crafted, but as I said a couple of the brothers’ brainchildren should never have been born…or well…should have been aborted. Namely, the vampire cure, which I will not divulge here, but we’ll just say I was less than impressed with that one and the way it was presented and handled (not that I have a better idea, mind you).
Also, the film is somewhat schizophrenic and felt as if it were two different movies at times. It started off well with a grim, thoughtful tone, somehow reminding me of Gattaca (97) with vampires. At some point, the tone shifted and the movie went from creepy dark sci-fi thriller to a poorly paced wannabe action movie with less-than clever dialogue. Then the two merge into one and the movie peters out into something pretty badass, but the not-so spectacular tacked-on ending left me a bit dissatisfied.
Gorehounds will probably get their fill, those infatuated with bloodsuckers will get an intriguing and unique sci-fi spin on the genre, and the ponderers will get a bit to think about. But all in all, it’s just a fun, dark ride that you probably won’t remember all that well in a year or two.
7.5/10
HALLOWEEN II (09):
Buckets of blood, but not as many buckets as I expected. Zombie spares viewers some of the bloodshed, merely showing the thrust of the knife in several scenes. Of course, faces still get stomped, blood does spatter on walls, and necks get snapped like twigs every fifteen minutes or so, but I was surprised with Zombie’s decision to “cop out” with certain kills (I mean, his last name is Zombie).
Still, this is a sick, twisted flick, but fans of Zombie’s first take on the franchise will likely be disappointed. As will pretty much anyone else. It’s still worth a rental for avid slasher aficionados such as myself and even the casual horror fan, but other viewers should probably steer clear (in fact, veer off the road and over a cliff to get away from this mess if you have to).
I liked the “White Horse” element and the Friday the 13th/Psycho-style mommie obsession rip-off/addition to the story (especially how Mother and the childish version of Michael Myers guide the titular killer). It’s somewhat entertaining, I dug the brutality of many of the murders and the film is kind of scary in this regard at times. But, the lack of genuine suspense, the absence of the mask (which is where Mr. Myers derived much of his power to frighten), the excessively curse-laden and often weak as a cripple dialogue, and the by-the-numbers nature of the whole show left me rather crestfallen.
5.4/10
Saturday, January 9, 2010
THE RETURN OF SCI-FI (DISTRICT 9, STAR TREK, MOON)
I love science fiction. Every breed of it. I can jive with our grandparents’ sci-fi: black and white “I can see the zipper on that corny looking alien’s suit” type stuff; classics like War of the Worlds (not the rehash with Tom crazy couch-jumping Cruise, the ‘50s one) and The Day the Earth Stood Still. Hell, I even love the so bad it’s good ones like Night of the Lupus and stuff ripe for Mystery Science Theater mockery.
I dig the pre-Star Wars ‘60s-‘70s retro, “they must’ve been high as a kite getting an earful of some Pink Floyd when they thought of this” type bizarre, imaginative flicks with special effects so cheesy Chester the Cheetah might threaten to sue (i.e. Logan’s Run, Zardoz). I treated the Star Wars (the first three of course) series like some kind of false idol for a good chunk of my life and while I don’t dream of being a Jedi anymore, I still think it’s some of the best sci-fi ever committed to celluloid.
Speaking of trilogies, the Back to the Future flicks were a bit of a childhood obsession as well that I still consider excellent examples of great sci-fi. Then there was Brazil, Blade Runner, 12 Monkeys, The Matrix and then…the drought. Post-Matrix, you could count the good sci-fi flicks on one hand. I’m not saying they haven’t been producing sci-fi, I’m saying other there’s only been one or maybe two (if that) good sci-fi movies a year in the last decade.
Serenity and Sunshine were awesome (and The Mist was surprisingly cool; particularly the ballsy, brutally grim ending), but I struggle to come up with much else worth recommending or even remembering. Sci-fi was dying. So, they gave us shoddy (or maybe I mean shitty) unnecessary remakes (i.e. The Day the Earth Stood Still). But in my humble opinion, we saw sci-fi return with a vengeance in 2009.
DISTRICT 9 (09):
The film takes place in an alternate timeline, beginning with a sequence of newsreels and documentary-like footage to explain the situation. In 1982, an alien ship crash-lands on Earth in South Africa. 28 years later, the extraterrestrial race that was aboard the ship are subjugated and quarantined and forced to live in slum-like conditions in a militarized ghetto.
A munitions corporation is contracted to evict the alien population, nicknamed “Prawns.” Wikus van der Merwe, head of the operation, is exposed to alien biotech and is forced to rely on the prawns for help. This movie has imagination to spare. Neil Blomkamp has penned a brilliant allegory about post-apartheid conflict in South Africa.
Sharlto Copley, who plays Wikus, does an astounding job with his role, which is critical because his character’s development is a central focus of the film. Even the prawn he befriends is a more well rounded character than you would typically find in a big-budget Hollywood blockbuster and he’s a freaking CGI alien.
The action sequences are magnificent, the camerawork is spot-on for this type of film, and once things really get going they don’t slow down. This sucker moves, and those seeking thrills will get their money’s worth and more. Most importantly though, this is smart sci-fi. The story is superb and Blomkamp does an excellent job tackling a difficult subject in a provocative way. There are minor flaws, but nothing that truly detracts or distracts from what is all-in-all one of the best and most powerful movies I’ve seen all year.
STAR TREK (09):
Beam me up, Scottie, to a damn good time at the movies. This reboot of the popular sci-fi franchise delivers the goods and thensome. You don’t have to be a Trekkie to enjoy this space romp. In fact, newcomers and naïve non-nerds might get even more of a kick out of this new Trek, because unlike the Trekkers (many of them prefer this term apparently), they won’t have anything to nitpick and throw a conniption over (except maybe a debatable plot hole or contrivance or two, but this is sci-fi people, c’mon).
J.J. Abram’s & Co. managed to successfully revamp and reboot the series and provide one of the most entertaining movie-going experiences this year. The casting directors deserve a big Obama fistbump for their apt choices: Syler as Spok, Simon Pegg as Scottie, Harold minus Kumar as Sulu, and Aussie badass/the Hulk Eric Bana as rogue Romulan nemesis Nero (Chris Pine even shines as Kirk). And way to write in an extended cameo/critical role for Mr. Nimoy (a.k.a. the OG Spok).
For anyone that just wanted to see stuff get blown up in outer space, you’ll be satisfied with the fireworks on display here. For those that also like a provocative story, superb characterization and consistently clever dialogue, it’s got all that and a bag of popcorn (if you bought one, which I didn’t cuz’ that shit’s expensive as hell).
MOON (09):
You’ve probably never heard of it, but this is one of my favorite movies of the year. Compared to the big-budget Hollywood blockbuster Star Trek (09), Moon seems incredibly minimalist, but this does not make it any less good. Though his movie is much smaller in scope, first-time director Duncan Jones (son of David Bowie) shoves just as big of a spark plug up sci-fi’s ass, breathing new and beautiful life into a seemingly forgotten or neglected genre.
Moon takes place almost entirely in one location and primarily concerns a cast of one. And yet, the story, the acting, and the directing are all so sublime that the film engages and resonates at a level many Hollywood popcorn flicks could never achieve. Sam Rockwell is brilliant as usual as astronaut Sam Bell, whose three-year solitary stint on the moon mining for Helium-3 (a significant, much-coveted energy source in this future) is finally coming to an end.
He is excited about returning to Earth and seeing his wife, but things take a strange and unfortunate turn in the last few days of his journey. Sam is getting a bit squirrelly and we wonder if the drama that unfolds is really happening or merely playing out in his muddled mind. I’m being purposefully vague, since this is a film with an intriguing narrative that probes the human condition and touches on many issues and to say too much would spoil the whole show.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
A SLIMY COP AND A BATTLE ROYALE
BAD LIEUTENANT: PORT OF CALL-NEW ORLEANS (09):
Best Nicholas Cage movie since Adaptation. Werner Herzog (best known for documentaries such as Grizzly Man) deserves a lot of praise for this ballsy re-imagining of Abel Ferrara’s cult classic Bad Lieutenant (92). I loved the original, but this is one of my guilty pleasure favorite flicks of the year.
We’ve seen corrupt cop films before, but BLPCNO takes the term “dirty cop” to the next level. Cage’s character, Terence McDonagh, is so dirty you might think he crawled (or slithered) straight out of Hell. He plays a lieutenant investigating the murder of five Senegalese immigrants in post-Hurricane Katrina New Orleans. But Cage is too busy smoking crack, hallucinating reptiles, and losing illegal gambling bets to figure out this mystery.
As we watch his downward spiral and as he plunges ever deeper into depravity we wonder if he really cares at all about finding the killer(s) or if he is just trying to clean up his own mess(es) and dig himself out of each new hole he makes along the way. While Herzog’s fearless direction and provocative artistic touches are crucial to the film’s success, Cage’s gleefully over-the-top performance is by far the highlight. We haven’t seen Cage like this since Face/Off (97) and he is truly fun to watch.
This is a shocking journey into depravity and corruption and I loved every minute of it. However, a lot of you folks are going to call me crazy and scream that we should “burn this witch,” labeling the movie ridiculous and me more so for liking it. My guess is that you people watched the movie expecting a serious crime drama while I see this as more of a really black comedy disguised as a crime drama. Either way, Cage’s gonzo portrayal of the titular character must be seen to be believed and is entertaining enough for me to recommend this to anyone. Val Kilmer, Eva Mendes, and Brad Dourif also co-star. 8.4/10
THE TOURNAMENT (09):
Every 7 years the world’s greatest assassins gather for a fight to the death tournament to battle for supremacy, while the bourgeois elite gamble on their lives. There can be only one, and he/she receives a $10 million dollar prize. The Kumite, anyone?
As with Avatar, this movie loses points in the originality department. Again though, who cares if we’ve seen the premise before when it’s a cool concept and plays out well? I don’t. At least not in a balls-to-the-wall, action-packed badass bloodfest such as this fine piece of mindless madness.
Given, the characters (which include Ving Rhames as our returning champ hero, Robert Carlyle as a bewildered alcoholic priest who stumbles into the game, Zangief from Mortal Kombat, and a French guy that does Parkour) are hardly more than cookie-cutter stereotypes and you get a pretty good sense of who is going to survive until the last few scenes, but there’s a decent surprise or two thrown into the mix and I sure as hell never got bored with all the brutal killings, explosions and mayhem and whatnot.
We’ve seen it all before in better films such as Battle Royale (’00) and The Running Man (’87), but if you’re an action junkie this movie will not disappoint. In fact, it’s one of the better action movies of the year and technically well made. Just turn off your brain and prepare for gore galore and a fun ride. 7.3/10
Monday, January 4, 2010
DANCES WITH SMURFS ON A GNARLY ROAD
Me: "What's up, Blawg?"
My blog: "Nada mooch. Just cruising through Cyberspace looking for some Jpegs with nice legs, D-Beezy. Looking fo' some Gigs to get giggity with, yadda-dada-dig?"
Me: "Oh...you bad, Blawg. You badder than the illegitimate lovechild of Richard Roundtree and Jim Brown that was produced during their threesome with Fred Williamson...impossibly bad that is."
My blog: "Yeah boy, I get down like that, Scribbles. Now give me some typeface, you crazy cracka!"
Dig on this then. I got two big reviews for all y'all in my head...or other people that happen upon this page by nature of a freak accident. By the way, just because one rating/score is higher than another does not necessarily mean I believe the higher rated film is technically superior to the one with a lesser rating. I have a strange rating system that even I have yet to fully grasp, but anything above an 8 means I really liked the film or at least loved aspects of it. I highly recommend viewing anything I rate 8 or above and typically anything above a 7 is worth checking out, but reading the review itself will further clarify my feelings and subjective opinion and give you a far better understanding of why I liked it or why I think you should (or shouldn't see it). For example, I love horror movies and rate them higher than most would but am aware that many people find them stupid or revolting, so don't think less of me and shy away from movies belonging to other genres I recommend due to my strange eclectic taste. Just thought I'd put that out there.
AVATAR (09) (a.k.a. Dances With Smurfs):
It’s really more of a mishmash of Dances with Wolves and Fern Gully with a dash of Braveheart thrown in for good measure. So, it’s not the most original movie ever, but I can forgive James Cameron for borrowing elements of good films and serving up a slightly novel but ultimately predictable storyline.
Why? Because a familiar story does not a bad movie make! Especially when it is handled skillfully, as it is here. And more especially, because the film is every bit as mind-blowing and groundbreaking as I expected it be in terms of visual effects.
If anything, Cameron and his crew deserve praise for world-building. Pandora itself, and particularly its dazzling flora and fauna were the highlight for me. The planet is a kaleidoscope of colors, some of which may not have existed before this film, but all of which had my eyes glued to the screen for the lengthy duration. Cameron’s incorporation of the Gaia theory (a.k.a. Gaia hypothesis), which views a planet as a living organism and interacting system was a great touch.
I must also give credit where it’s due for some great casting (particularly Stephen Lang as the delightfully evil colonel) and a good musical score that is complemented best in an IMAX theater with its thunderous, myriad speakers. In addition to being a special effects spectacle, Avatar is a message movie, and the message is not subtle. With terms like “shock and awe” being tossed around left and right it’s clear that Cameron’s agenda involved criticizing our nation’s politics and “get ‘er done” attitude.
Historically, America (or at least many of its companies and corporations) has exploited the resources and people of other nations with little regard for the indigenous population and Cameron makes no effort to hide that his film serves as an indictment of the Iraq war and American diplomacy. Nor should he; while his approach is a bit heavy-handed, I enjoyed this aspect of the film.
Avatar is epic in scope, and while it is by no means a perfect or profound film, it’s quality entertainment and quite a unique and satisfying experience. Inevitably, some of you will leave the theater less impressed than me and you are entitled to your opinion, but I like eye candy and my pupils ate this movie up like a fat kid would free chocolate cake. Highly recommended. Go see it in IMAX 3D for maximum effect. 8.8/10
THE ROAD (09):
Warning! Stay away if you cannot handle children in peril or disturbingly bleak, horrific stories. This is an extremely grim, harrowing tale about a man and his son struggling to survive in a post-apocalyptic future. John Hillcoat was a good choice to direct this dark and dismal pic.
In many ways it was very reminiscent of his previous film The Proposition, which you should seek out if you dig this dreary journey. The Road is an adaptation of the Cormac McCarthy (author of No Country for Old Men) novel of the same name, which I am currently reading, and so far the movie stays true to the book to the hilt. It’s a bleak road full of cannibalistic tribes and scared out of their wits, weapon-wielding survivors, resorting to awful things in their attempts to protect themselves and their loved ones.
Through it all though, there is a glimmer of hope that the man and boy desperately cling to as they make their journey south, pretending there is still reason to live. The only real reason left is each other, and they keep their humanity afloat in the face of terrible burdens and afflictions. It is a heartbreaking movie with an emotional impact that is given weight due to exceptional performances from all involved.
Though it’s a minimalist drama/thriller I found myself deeply invested in the characters and their plight and while at times I expected it to be even more grim and mired in realism, I must admit it is one of the ten best films I’ve seen this year. 8.6/10
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Vigilantes, Detectives, Depressed Dads and Dead Dutch Dudes
After a long hiatus, I'm back on the blog! It's a new year and one of my resolutions is to practice my writing more, and what better way to do so than to put my pathetic ramblings online where chronically bored people can stumble across them and criticize my atrocious taste and offensively lamebrained opinions.
Of course, these "people" I refer to are a mere army of one, existing solely within the confines of my chemically damaged mind where they battle for supremacy and control of my actions.
Actions which lead me here time and time again to Cyberspace where bruised but over-inflated egos roam free and engage in sophomoric banter and wit wars until they realize they haven't gotten laid in years and that their mother's basement is being overtaken by rats and the Rat King, Whiskerface McCheeseeater III, has decided that your racecar bed is now his and that you should go get him more Cheez-its before he tells his minions that your third leg tastes like Goudha.
Whoa...um...movie reviews. Here's some of those to accompany the angry, incoherent ranting.
BOONDOCK SAINTS 2: ALL SAINT'S DAY (09):
Yup. Troy Duffy, numero uno on the Hollywood Blacklist and writer-director of that kickass late 90's flick about Irish vigilante badasses finally got the funding to make a sequel. It's a mixed bag. A bag that I would put over my head because I enjoyed it and there wasn't any bees in the bag, but it wasn't the coolest, dopest thing ever committed to celluloid either.
As a film, it is certainly not in the same league as its predecessor, but it's a fun ride with sweet action and a good storyline. The movie delves deep into the Duke's past and that's definitely the highlight (it reminded me of Showtime's Dexter) and it's great to see the boys back in action, but Duffy tries way too hard at times to come up with witty Tarantino-esque dialogue and often fails miserably.
I was especially annoyed with the "good" cops who try to protect our dynamic duo, because they are far too reminiscent of the Three Stooges and though I enjoyed some of the comedic elements, this one only hurt the film. Speaking of Dexter, his onscreen wife (Julie Benz) does an OK job as Willem Dafoe's FBI agent replacement, but Duffy could have been more original with his portrayal of the character and her crime scene reenactments.
Overall, I was highly entertained and there was plenty of fan service, so check it out if you dug the original, but don't expect a modern masterpiece. 7.4/10
SHERLOCK HOLMES (09):
I'm gonna get right to the point with this one: I loved it, it's very entertaining; go see it. The writers' contemporary twist on Arthur Conan Doyle's famed detective will have some fans screaming blasphemy, but Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal of Holmes makes for great entertainment.
In this version, Dr. Watson (Jude Law) is the more together of the two, while Holmes is an eccentric drunk with whip-smart wit who happens to be a master deducer. Despite the long running time, the story had me enthralled and I would be delighted to see this become a franchise if the sequel contains a mystery on par with this one.
Guy Ritchie's typical hyperactive editing and flamboyant direction were at play and utilized to good effect and I hope he's in the director's chair for the next installment as well. A little hokey and Hollywood at times, but this is damn fun escapist entertainment. Highly recommended. 8.5/10
WORLD'S GREATEST DAD (09):
One of the best dark comedies I've ever seen, and one of my favorite movies of the year. This is not for everyone though. It will divide audiences, but those that like their humor pitch-black will revel in the deliciously dark events and characters.
I don't want to give much away, but here's the barebones of it: Robin Williams plays a sad sack wannabe writer/teacher on the verge of losing his job who has never had anything published and has a troubled, rotten-to-the core son, but things change for him after a tragic life event.
Funny-voiced comedian Bobcat Goldthwait directs and if you dig this, check out his other movies: Shakes the Clown (91) and Sleeping Dogs Lie (06). Neither is as good as this, but both are interesting and provocative in their own right. 8.6/10
SLAUGHTER NIGHT (a.k.a. SL8N8) (06):
This Dutch Horror movie is nothing special, but the premise is surprisingly original and is handled well. Horror hounds and gore fanatics will definitely get their jollies with this one.
There are some excellent kills (i.e. shovel to the face!) with good special effects, and it's a great addition to the Dead Teenager Movie/slasher sub-genre. Slick directing, slightly above par writing (for a horror flick) and most importantly lots and lots of blood and guts and severed heads. Go Netflix it you sick, twisted, shock enthusiasts. 6.9/10
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