European Horror

MARTYRS (08):

Extremely creepy, violent French horror movie that nears the top of my list of most disturbing films. Part of France’s New Wave of Horror, this just may be the best one yet. It's about two victims of child abuse trying to enact revenge against their oppressors, but they're in for a whole lot more pain and suffering.

While it may seem like an excessive exercise in "torture porn" at first, the thought-provoking third act is well worth the wait for those who tire or shy away from the extreme brutality on display throughout much of the film. This one is definitely not for the squeamish! It is disturbingly graphic and violent and the viewer is left in the dark for much of the film, so the final revelations are quite shocking and intriguing.

Rated R for disturbing/severe aberrant behavior involving strong bloody violence, torture, child abuse and some nudity. Genre: Horror/Drama. 99 minutes. Available on DVD/Blu-ray. 8.4/10

DEAD SNOW (09):

Absolutely hysterical horror/comedy import from Norway involving Nazi zombies and oodles of references to horror classics. I feel like Tommy Wirkola achieves the perfect balance of humor and horror, serving up enough bloodshed to please the gorehounds and enough laughs for anyone just looking to be entertained.

This movie is not very scary and it isn't intended to be, so look elsewhere if you're seeking reasons to keep you up at night. Horror buffs will delight in the comedic tributes and references to cult classics by the likes of Sam Raimi and Peter Jackson, and everyone else...well, c'mon...it's Nazi zombies, so what's not to like?

Not Rated in the USA, but I would rate it R for ample blood splatter. Genre: Horror/Comedy. 91 minutes. Available on DVD/Blu-ray since 8/31/09. 7.7/10

MUM AND DAD (09):

This British horror flick is excellent. One of the best horror movies of 2009 so far, Mum and Dad does nearly everything right. The acting is top-notch and the story is somewhat familiar but different enough to really captivate. In fact, I'll skip plot details so as not to ruin the surprise.

Steve Sheil deserves high praise for both a fine script and deft directing in this (cautionary) tale of a Polish immigrant’s run-in with a strange family of demented murderers. This is edgy filmmaking at its best and despite some obvious influences (i.e. The Texas Chainsaw Massacre) it is rather unique and fresh. I felt mired in a brutal, grotesque atmosphere that lingered with me long after viewing.

Not Rated in the USA, but I would give it an R for brutality, bloody violence and disturbing behavior. Genre: Horror. 84 minutes. Available on DVD. 8/10

Dead President

ASSASSINATION OF A HIGH SCHOOL PRESIDENT (09):

Hilarious and fascinating neo-noir about a high school reporter who uncovers a bigger scandal while investigating stolen SAT exams. Much like Rian Johnson’s Brick (07), it’s a high-school set detective genre spoof. Our gum-chewing gumshoe protagonist is a Raymond Chandler wannabe with dreams of becoming a journalist, and this case/article is sure to be a step in the right direction.

He teams up with the most popular girl in school to uncover the mystery, but finds himself in too deep as a larger conspiracy unfolds. The movie loses points for originality, since it is clearly inspired by Brick (07), but it makes up for this with interesting characters and quirky quotable dialogue. I loved the style on display in this comedic mystery that poignantly captures many elements of the high school experience.

Reece Thompson is superb as Bobby Funke, but Bruce Willis steals the show as a Desert Storm vet turned high school principal. While fans of Mischa Barton will likely be pleased with her presence, I found her performance a bit flat (not quite as bad as I expected it to be though). Some will not appreciate the film’s unique style and humor but I was enamored and delighted by the witty dialogue and intriguing characters. Highly recommended. Rated R for sexual content, some nudity, language, and drug and alcohol use—all involving teens. Genre: Comedy/Mystery. 93 minutes. Available on DVD on 10/06/09. 8.2/10

Slasher Flicks

1. LAID TO REST (09): One of the best modern slasher flicks, period. I’ve noticed horror fans are divided on this one, but I for one, loved it. The acting is a bit weak at times, but not bad enough to distract. The story grabs you from the get-go as a young woman wakes up in a coffin with amnesia. Soon, she’s on the run from a psycho killer wearing a creepy chrome mask. While many detractors were peeved by the lack of a thorough backstory or motive behind the madman’s murder spree, I felt that this only made his character more frightening. Instead, the real mystery is who the girl is and how she ended up here and while it’s not much of a doozy the explanation is sufficient. What really made me a fan was the creative kills and exceptional make-up effects. This one’s a treat for gorehounds, even if dwelling on a kill a bit much here and there dulls the impact occasionally. I’m looking forward to a sequel, or at least the director’s next project. 7.6/10
2. HATCHET (06): Fun throwback to ‘80s horror, the slasher heyday. Set in New Orleans during Mardi Gras, this one’s about a group of tourists on a haunted boat tour through a swamp that gets far scarier than anyone anticipated when they get stranded and a mutant maniac starts hacking people to bits. Entertaining horror comedy with some of the most creative kills I’ve ever seen. 7.3/10
3. SEVERANCE (07): Great British horror comedy about the sales division of a multinational weapons corporation on a team building exercise in Hungary forced to fight for a survival against mysterious enemies. Great characters, original story and brilliant murder set pieces are complemented by inspired dark humor. Don’t ever go on a company retreat in the mountains of Eastern Europe! 7/10
4. THE TRIPPER (07): David Arquette wrote and directed this tongue-in-cheek homage to horror romps of the ‘70s and ‘80s. In the only politically satirical slasher I can recollect, a maniac in a Reagan mask is slaughtering hippies at a music festival in the woods. Often hilarious send-up of political ideals is also a fine slasher, featuring some unique kills and a fascinating premise. 6.7/10
5. HIGH TENSION (04): Excellent French flick about two college coeds, Marie and Alexa, on vacation at Alexa’s parents’ country home and the mysterious madman who disturbs their quiet holiday. It’s truly more of a psychological horror thriller, but it plays out like a slasher flick. The kills are extremely inventive and shocking, and the big twist is quite a doozy. 8.2/10
6. SCREAM (96): This movie manages to lampoon the genre and be a part of it at the same time. Horror maestro Wes Craven wrote and directed this ingenious slasher about high school kids plagued by a series of murders in a small town. Followed by two sequels that are well worth the watch if you dig this one. 9/10
7. BEHIND THE MASK: THE RISE OF LESLIE VERNON (07): Excellent mockumentary-style dark comedy about a psycho killer who fancies himself the next Michael Myers or Jason Voorhees. The lead actor, Nathan Baesel, is superb as Leslie Vernon, and what begins as an amusing character study/educational course in horror becomes a full-blooded slasher flick with some fun kills. 7.8/10
8. COLD PREY (06) Norwegian slasher flick about a group of friends on a ski trip who unwittingly hole up in the home of a brutal killer when one gets injured. Well-executed modern slasher. Followed by a sequel that I have yet to see. 6.7/10
9. MIDNIGHT MOVIE (08): Very original slasher flick about a late night screening of an obscure horror film that goes terribly awry when the killer from the movie comes out of the screen and attacks the audience. I was a bit disappointed with some of the kills, but enjoyed the premise and execution. 6.3/10
10. EVIL ED (95): Bizarre Swedish flick where a man working as an editor for extremely gory horror films goes crazy and begins a murder spree of his own. Fans of the Evil Dead Series or Peter Jackson’s Dead Alive should seek this strange gem out. 6.8/10
11. THEM (a.k.a. Ils) (06): Very creepy French flick about a couple who are terrorized by a group of unknown assailants wearing hoodies. This movie genuinely scared me, effectively generating tension and suspense consistently throughout the duration and building up to a shocking revelation. Not for the gore fiends, but scary as hell. This was the film The Strangers (08) wanted to be. 8/10
12. KING OF THE HILL (a.k.a. El Rey de La Montana) (07): Well-done Spanish mystery thriller about a man and woman who are being targeted by a sniper for unknown reasons. Much like Them, the twists and turns lead to a surprising and disturbing denouement. 7.4/10
13. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER (97): Jennifer Love Hewitt leads a cast of teens who are being killed off one by one a year after their involvement in a tragic car accident that resulted in a fisherman’s death. It’s clichéd but entertaining. 6.5/10
14. THE PROWLER (82): Gorehounds will delight in some of the inventive kills in this slasher about a crop of New Jersey campus murders that start up 35 years after a double homicide at the Graduation Dance. The killer dons army fatigues and the high body count and Tom Savini’s marvelous makeup FX are the highlight, but the story is kind of weak. 6/10
15. THE BURNING (81): Probably the best Friday the 13^th clone, this slasher also set at a campground features Jason Alexander and Helen Hunt early in their careers. A decent story with some good kills makes this a cut above many ‘80s slashers. 6.4/10
16. FRIDAY THE 13th (80): Horror classic about mysterious murders at Camp Crystal Lake. Popularized the slasher genre and has spawned 9 sequels and a re-imagining to date. 8.6/10
17. HALLOWEEN (78): Horror classic about a masked murderer who escapes from an institution and is now on the loose in his hometown of Haddonfield, searching for his sister (Jamie Lee Curtis) amidst a bloody rampage. 8.8/10
18. THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (74): Tobe Hooper’s horror classic about a group of teenagers’ run-in with a psychotic family of cannibals. Loosely based on the true story of Ed Gein, this movie introduced the chainsaw-wielding horror icon Leatherface to the world. 8.2/10
19. MY BLOODY VALENTINE (81): This Canadian slasher flick is one of the best of the ‘80s. It has a good story, above-par writing (for this genre at least), decent acting, and some damn good kills. Thanks to some good red herrings, the revelation of the killer is a nice surprise too. 6.9/10
20. MANIAC (80): Unique and somewhat frightening slasher about a psychotic murderer stalking the streets of New York. Doesn’t follow the normal slasher format, but rather plays out a bit like a demented character study, revealing the killer early on in the film. Generally unpleasant and raw film but well-made. 6.4/10
21. MY BLOODY VALENTINE (09): This 3-D remake of a Canadian slasher is a fun ride. It’s just a vehicle for gratuitous sex and violence and a showcase for new 3-D technology, but if you know what you’re getting into it’s suitable entertainment. 6.5/10
22. FRIDAY THE 13th (09): This re-imagining starts off with such a bang that the rest of the movie is a bit of a letdown, but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s littered with tributes and references to the first four films in the series and features some great kills. 6.6/10
23. HALLOWEEN (07): Rob Zombie’s re-imagining of John Carpenter’s classic is a worthy addition to the genre. Sure, far too many F-bombs are dropped and the characters are despicable to the point that you want them to die, but this blood-soaked film is genuinely scary. Michael’s murder spree causes some jumps and jolts, but what really creeped me out is Zombie’s portrayal of Michael’s childhood. 6.8/10
24. THE COLLECTOR (09): The grainy look both suits the film and irks me a bit simultaneously, but the character of the collector is a worthy addition to the horror canon. While it resembles Saw (which is no coincidence since the writer/directors were behind the screenplays for several films in that series) and could be described as another torture-porn horror flick, it had enough originality in its premise and enough creativity in its kills to keep me captivated. Genuinely frightening at times and even generates some suspenseful moments amidst all the gore and screaming. It had its problems, but I was sufficiently entertained and wouldn’t mind seeing the collector return to theaters for a grisly sequel. 6.6/10
25. MADMAN (82): Pretty bad low-budget slasher but gorehounds will enjoy some of the ingenious kills. 5/10
    

Creature Features

1. THE DESCENT (07): This is one of the best horror movies of the last five years. Excellent direction, great creature design and FX, and a solid mindf*ck ending; 8.9/10

2. THE BURROWERS (08) This is like a genuinely scary version of Tremors. It's a period-piece horror western set in the 1800s: cowboys, Indians, and creepy mole-like monsters that bury you alive and eat you slow; 7.5/10

3. FEAST (06) A tongue-in-cheek horror comedy about murderous monsters and the denizens of a bar trying to stave off the attack; lampoons horror movies, providing hilarious character stereotypes and a bloody fun time; followed by two sequels, each more ridiculous than the last but both worth a look if you dig the first one; 7.4/10

4. SPLINTER (08) Employs the typical but effective horror story line of strangers trapped in a small area (here it's a gas station) by a menace of some sort; here, the menace is a strange parasite that turns its victims into deadly hosts; simple but well done, with decent characters and writing, and a truly original and intriguing creature; 7.1/10

5. JACK BROOKS: MONSTER SLAYER (07): Another successful horror comedy hybrid, it's just what it sounds like only better. Our protagonist Jack Brooks is indeed a monster slayer and the film features some cool creatures. While the first half plays more like a character study, the second half is more fun and the last 20 minutes is well worth the wait. One of the best gross-out endings since Brian Yuzna's (underrated) Society (89). There's a sequel in the works slated for 2010. 7.2/10

6. ALIEN RAIDERS (07): Excellent low-budget sci-fi horror hybrid that takes place almost entirely within the confines of a grocery store. Takes itself seriously, and thanks to good writing, directing, and acting, so did I. Plot involves a team of operatives invading the store and interrogating employees/customers to determine whether they are part of the alien invasion. Genuinely generates tension and suspense. Great premise, deft direction and some cool special FX. 7.8/10

7. ALTERED (06): Directed by Eduardo Sanchez (co-director of The Blair Witch Project), this is a damned decent alien creature feature. It's sure to divide audiences, but I for one, loved the premise and creature design. A group of friends capture an alien in the woods and trouble ensues. 6.9/10

8. SLITHER (06): Disgusting and fun, this gross-out horror comedy hybrid is about what happens when an alien plague is unleashed upon a small town. Reminiscent of David Cronenberg's Shivers and Fred Dekker's Night of the Creeps, this one's a great ride, but not for the squeamish. 7.8/10

9. EVIL ALIENS (05): Hilarious, gross-out horror comedy in the vein of the early works of Peter Jackson or Sam Raimi; reminiscent of Bad Taste and littered with references to horror and sci-fi cult classics (most notably an homage to the ultra-gory ending to Peter Jackson's Dead Alive except the weapon of choice here is farm equipment rather than a lawnmower). It's about a disreputable news crew investigating reports of alien abduction. If you like this, look for director Jake West's up and coming Doghouse (09). 7.8/10

10. TREMORS (91) A nostalgic classic for me, this one's an extremely entertaining good old-fashioned monster movie. Sure, it's a B-grade horror thriller at heart, but a damn good one. Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward are perfectly cast as the handymen that help residents of an isolated town escape from giant worm-like creatures that dwell underground. 8.5/10

11. GREMLINS (84) This is a personal favorite of mine. A boy gets a strange new pet called a Mogwai, but all hell breaks loose when he neglects to follow the rules and precautions that accompanied it. The Mogwai spawns small mutant monsters that proceed to cause all sorts of mischief and mayhem. Followed by a superb sequel that goes for more laughs and succeeds. 8.8/10

12. ALIEN (79): One of the best sci-fi movies of all time, and a shining example of what an effective creature feature should be. A mining ship lands on a distant planet and encounters strange extra-terrestrial creatures. It's got it all: atmosphere, the suspense, the terror; and H.R. Geiger's ingenious creature design. 9.4/10

13. PREDATOR (88) Excellent sci-fi action film. A team of commandos becomes the prey for a technologically advanced extra-terrestrial hunter in a Central American jungle. Good story, well-directed, brilliant creature design, and the Governator. Who wouldn't want to see Schwarzenegger vs. the ultimate badass alien warrior?. 9/10

14. AVP : ALIEN VS PREDATOR (04): Pretty disappointing blend of the two franchises. Despite some poor writing and bad acting, there are still aliens and predators in the same movie, which is pretty awesome. Mildly entertaining, but a major letdown for fans of either franchise. I was really upset about the PG-13 rating too. 6/10

15. AVPR: ALIEN VS PREDATOR REQUIEM (07): While it's not a good movie and is in fact worse in some ways than its predecessor, this rematch between alien badasses offered what the first was sorely lacking. Namely, an R-rating, and deservedly so. This sequel sacrifices story for action and gore, and I for one, did not mind much. Sure, the writing is poor and I did not care for any human characters in the film, but battles between the two titular E.T.s are on full display here. 6.3/10

16. THE HOST (06) South Korean genre mixer about a mutant squid monster that emerges from Seoul's Han River and begins attacking people. There's a good dramatic story line concerning a family and the rescue of their little girl, who is help captive by the creature. Great special FX and a captivating story. 7.6/10

17. CRITTERS (86): Cheesy but fun alien creature feature. Flesh-eating alien monsters attack a Kansas farm and the inhabitants must recruit the help of bounty hunters to combat the ferocious furballs with razor sharp teeth. 6/10

18. THE HIDDEN (87): This is a cult classic sci-fi action blend about a carefree alien invader. This visitor is a badass bodysnatcher, using and trading human hosts like outfits and remorselessly murdering all that stand in his way. It becomes a buddy cop hunt for a serial killer, with the added twist that one of the cops (actually an FBI agent) and the killer are aliens. 7.5/10

19. MIMIC (97): Guillermo Del Toro (Pan's Labyrinth) directed this stylish flick about genetically modified cockroaches that have evolved/mutated rapidly into human-size predators; 6.8/10

20. THE RELIC (97): Enjoyable enough creature feature set in a museum; pretty cheesy; 5.9/10

21. THE THING (82): John Carpenter's masterpiece about a shape-shifting alien that assumes the appearance of its victims. Everything about this movie deserves praise: superb directing, perfectly understated acting, masterful suspense, and one of the best creature ideas and designs. 8.6/10

Best Horror Movies of 2009 (so far):

TRICK R' TREAT (2009):

Magnificent modern anthology horror film and probably the best Halloween-themed movie ever. My favorite horror movie of the year so far, it's a shame this one isn't getting more publicity (and sat on the shelves for two years while producers pondered what to do with it).

This one's got it all: brilliant direction, a great ensemble cast (Brian Cox, Anna Paquin, Dylan Baker, Leslie Bibb), inspired cinematography, a riveting, haunting soundtrack and superb storytelling. The intricately linked slice of life format that worked so well in movies like Pulp Fiction, works wonders here as well. First time writer-director Michael Dougherty is now on my watch list, proving himself more than capable of helming a fright flick. It's so refreshing to see a movie that harkens back to the '80s when horror films were fun and not mere vehicles for torture and gratuitous violence. Don't get me wrong, I like my gore, but a good story is far more important, and here we are treated to four that woven together like a fine tapestry.

Aside from a continuity error or two, my only complaint is that I wanted more. At a slight 82 minutes there's not much room for character development. Then again, the lack of information and back story regarding the characters contributes to the effectiveness of certain twists and shocking revelations. With originality to spare, this movie really captures the Halloween spirit, and I will probably indulge in an annual viewing each October 31 to come. Highly recommended!

Rated R for horror violence, some sexuality/nudity, and language. Genre: Horror/Comedy/Mystery/Thriller. 82 minutes. Available on DVD/Blu-ray on 10/06/2009. My score: 9/10

DRAG ME TO HELL:

Sam Raimi's triumphant return to the horror genre. This is a gross-out horror comedy that is original and consistently entertaining. Fans of Raimi's Evil Dead series will likely get a kick out of this. Alison Lohman plays a loan officer who becomes the victim of a supernatural curse when she evicts an old gypsy woman from her home. This curse quite literally makes her life a living hell, and she, along with her boyfriend (Justin Long), must find a way to liberate her from this strange affliction before it is too late.

Drag will keep you on the edge of your seat until the next surprise forces you off of it and into the air again. It's teeming with well-timed shocks and jolts and cringe-inducing moments that may cause a gag reflex in some. Great make-up FX and an eerie score add to the excitement. This movie is fun, pure and simple. It will make you jump, it will make you laugh and it might make you throw up in your mouth a little. Drag is an excellent companion piece to Raimi's Evil Dead series and a rollicking roller coaster ride of a film that should please both Raimi fans and average moviegoers.

Rated PG-13 for sequences of horror violence, terror, disturbing images and language. Genre: Horror/Comedy/Thriller. 99 minutes. Available on DVD/Blu-ray on 10/13/09. My score: 8.6/10

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY (2009):

One of the best horror movies of 2009 and my favorite "found footage" (a.k.a. shakey-cam) film to date. A couple gets a video camera and leaves it in their bedroom each night with the intention of recording any paranormal activity. If you can suspend disbelief and invest yourself in a world where demons are real then this is a must-see. If you're a hard-up too cool to be scared type then you should avoid this like swine flu, because you'll dismiss it as nonsense and ruin it for those that can curb their skepticism and enjoy a good scare.

The unknown actors do an excellent job fleshing out their characters and their relationship, and first time writer-director Oren Peli wisely lets us get to know and care for them before turning up the suspense. This one's a slow builder, but that is why is so effective. Tension mounts as swinging doors and strange noises downstairs make way for progressively creepier and more inexplicable occurrences.

Everyone has experienced things that go bump in the night: we've all woken up and had trouble dozing off again because our overactive imaginations suggested sinister explanations for unknown sounds. P.A. plays on just such fears and if you thrust yourself entirely into the world of this film it is truly terrifying. Technically brilliant, my only gripe is that I read descriptions of alternate endings online and believe that one was superior to the one selected for its international theatrical release.

Rated R for language. Genre: Horror/Mystery/Thriller. 86 minutes. Currently in theaters. My score: 8.4/10

Creepy Children

Since Halloween is coming up I thought I might offer up some recommendations for those seeking a good scare. I will provide succinct synopses and ratings for a heap of horror movies for the rest of the month.

This first post will focus on horror flicks with creepy children in them. Pedophobes beware!

THE CHILDREN (09): If movies like The Omen scared the piss out of you, this is a must-see. This British import is a slow-builder, oozing with tension and suspense, about a strange affliction that causes children at a family holiday retreat to behave violently. Rated R for disturbing bloody violent content, terror, language, and brief drug use. Genre: Horror. 84minutes. Available on DVD on 10/06/09. My score: 7.2/10

JOSHUA (07): Sam Rockwell is perfect as usual, but what surprised me was that the kid who plays the titular character displayed some real acting chops in this psychological horror film. "What if your kid was an unloving sociopath?" and if so "is it your fault?" This is an intelligent cautionary tale about having children, and it almost scared me enough to swear off ever having any. Rated R for language and some disturbing behavior by a child. Genre: Horror/Drama. 106 minutes. Available on DVD on 1/08/07. My score: 7.3/10

WHISPER (07): The child protagonist (or antagonist depending on how you look at it) does a great job with his role. It's like a contemporary spin on The Omen, and this kid is so creepy I forgot Damien altogether for the duration. Strange things happen when a group of kidnappers holes up in a remote cabin in the woods, and the boy they grabbed has a dark secret that just may be the key to this supernatural mystery with some good plot twists. Cool premise, fine direction and a decent script with a hint of originality are complemented by good performances by all involved. Rated R for violence and terror. Genre: Horror/Thriller. 94 minutes. Available on 1/30/2008. My score: 6.5/10

WHO CAN KILL A CHILD (76): Also known as Island of the Damned, this obscure Spanish movie is the stuff my nightmares are made of. An English couple vacationing in Spain is bewildered when they discover an island teeming with children who respond to questioning with mere blank stares and creepy smiles. "Where have all the adults gone?" The children it seems are possessed by a mysterious illness or madness that causes them to violently attack their elders. What a tragic predicament for the traveling couple, for "who can kill a child?" This is the mother of creepy children films and I believe not just a predecessor to but rather the inspiration for The Children (09). Rated R in the USA (Banned in Iceland and Finland!). Genre: Horror/Mystery/Thriller. 111 minutes. Available on DVD on 6/26/07. My score: 7.8/10

Zombies and Robot Men

ZOMBIELAND (2009): Incredibly entertaining action-packed romp set in a post-apocalyptic future predominated by zombie hordes. This horror comedy hybrid makes Shaun of the Dead look like child's play, and stands out as one of the best examples of the genre. It doesn't waste any time, placing the audience in the midst of a zombie wasteland and listing our protagonist's rules for survival (and providing excellent scenarios to explain why these rules exist). Columbus (Adventureland's Jesse Eisenberg) sets off on a journey to find other survivors, and it's not long before he finds some interesting companions (Woody Harrelson, Emma Stone, and Abigail Breslin). I won't say anymore about the plot for the sake of potential viewers, but I will say that this movie is teeming with uproariously funny moments and features what is possibly the best cameo of all time (which I won't spoil here). All the actors shine but Woody Harrelson steals the show as Tallahassee, a Twinkie-lover whose particular brand of zombie hate provides a decent chunk of the humor. First-time director Ruben Fleischer deserves high praise, especially for his apt and hilarious use of slow-motion. Credit goes to the writers too, who have crafted a horror comedy with intriguing, endearing characters and a story that we can get invested in. The biggest surprise is the heart and warmth that exists at the core of this film, evident in the characters and their interactions. All involved should get high marks for this. Highly recommended, but those who cannot tolerate bearing witness to the undead becoming targets of strong bloody violence should avoid this one at all costs. Rated R for horror violence/gore and language. Genre: Horror/Comedy/Action/Adventure. 80 minutes. Released theatrically on 10/02/09. My score: 8.5/10

SURROGATES (2009): This is a fun, entertaining action pic, albeit a soulless and forgettable one as well. Clocking in at a mere 88 minutes, the movie goes through the motions and ends both abruptly and somewhat predictably. The premise is intriguing and the action sequences are spectacular, but I couldn't escape the feeling that I had seen it all before...and done better. As far as sci-fi murder mysteries go, this pales in comparison to Minority Report (2001). Bruce Willis does fine in his role, but he can't elevate the movie above its enjoyable but insubstantial popcorn flick status. My biggest gripe with this film is its unforgivable omission of any mention of sex and dining in the surrogate world. Food and sex are basic human needs, and I am hard pressed to believe that all mankind willingly gave up (or forgot about) the pleasures of sex and eating so that they may wither away at home while vicariously living through a surrogate substitute. We can all relate to the desire to be someone else and the themes and issues the film brings up are provocative, but the writers failed to explore or realize them, instead focusing on action and story. Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, language, sexuality and a drug-related scene. Genre: Sci-fi/Action/Mystery. 85 minutes. Released theatrically on 9/25/09. My score: 6.5/10

Suicides and Con Men

THE BROTHERS BLOOM (2008): Brick (2005) director Rian Johnson's sophomore effort is a fun, fast-paced adventure story. Reminiscent of a Wes Anderson film, The Brothers Bloom is populated with quirky characters and focuses on an eccentric family of con artists: two brothers and their quiet enigmatic accomplice Bang Bang (Rinko Kikuchi). Mark Ruffalo and Adrien Brody are both excellent in their roles as the titular orphan siblings, who were bounced from foster home to foster home due to their penchant for mischief and trickery. Stephen (Ruffalo), the older brother, believes he is telling a story with each of his cons and dreams of telling the greatest story ever told. He controls his younger brother Bloom (Brody), who has spent his life playing different characters in his brother's elaborate con games and wants nothing more than to start a life of his own. When Bloom finally sets off to begin his "unwritten life," it is not long before his brother appears to drag him back into one last con, involving Penelope (Rachel Weisz), an exceedingly rich eccentric heiress. The movie is littered with hilarious moments and scenarios, but has a dark streak running through it that adds weight to a whimsical tale. Great performances from all involved. Highly recommended (especially to fans of Wes Anderson's films or the director's debut Brick). Rated PG-13 for violence, some sensuality and brief strong language. Genre: Comedy/Adventure/Crime/Drama/Romance. 113 minutes. Available on DVD on 9/29/09. My score: 7.7/10

FROM WITHIN (2008): A string of mysterious suicides plagues a small town predominated by evangelical Christians. This film demands your attention with its first frame and hardly lets up. I couldn't help but see this as an amalgam of Fallen (1998) and Mirrors (2008), but what an interesting hybrid it turned out to be. Cinematographer turned director Phedon Papamichael can be credited with moving the story along at a nice pace, providing some brilliant camerawork along the way. The film loses some steam and gets bogged down in some melodrama once the source of the suicides is revealed, but by this point it has sucked you into its world and you're wholly invested in it 'til the bitter (albeit somewhat predictable) end. Providing a thought-provoking commentary on tolerance and religious extremism, this is the best entry in AfterDark Horrorfest III and probably the best since the Horrorfest series began. Recommended for horror fans who don't rely solely on bloody dismemberments to get their kicks, but rather enjoy a provocative shocker with suspense and atmosphere to spare. Rated R for violence, disturbing images and some language. Genre: Horror/Mystery/Suspense. 89 minutes. Available on DVD on 3/31/2009. My score: 7/10

Boondock Psycho

SIX WAYS TO SUNDAY (1997): Very original, unique crime drama/dark comedy. This is a bizarre, stylish film that takes the formulaic story line of a guy making his way up the ranks in the mob and turns it on its head. The movie manages to mix the typical mobster plot with elements of Psycho (1960) and Primal Fear (1996) and the result is truly fascinating. Norman Reedus (best known for his role as one of the Boondock Saints) deserves praise for his portrayal of Harry Odum, the complex protagonist. Harry, who lives with his overprotective mother (Deborah Harry) is recruited by the Jewish mob as an enforcer after revealing his underlying aggressive tendencies. Six Ways is very much a dark comedy (of the darkest variety) and I certainly did get some laughs out of it, but more impressive is the psychological study of an unhealthy mother/son relationship that permeates the film. This film is teeming with interesting characters, relationships and situations, and I applaud writer/director Adam Bernstein for giving us something though-provoking that strays far from the norm. Adrien Brody and Isaac Hayes have significant roles, and Brody in particular is fun to watch in a film that never fails to be compelling. Intriguing, unexpected plot twists and a truly disturbing but apt ending left me a big fan. Highly recommended for those that seek something different, but be warned that there is some very taboo subject matter that may offend or scare off some viewers. Rater R for graphic bloody violence, strong language, sexuality and brief drug use. Genre: Dark Comedy/Crime Drama. 97 minutes. Available on DVD on 8/24/99. My score: 7.5/10

70s Suburbia and Irish Terrorists

These two films have nothing in common, except that I enjoyed them both immensely and they each feature a good ensemble cast.

LYMELIFE (2009): A period drama focusing on two Long Island families in 1970s suburbia, this is a fine first attempt for the Martini Brothers (Steven and Derick wrote, Derick directed). It has a bit of a somber tone and while it is very much a coming of age tale, it doesn't focus exclusively on the teen protagonists; but rather gives us deep insight into their parents lives as well (and in fact, it is very much about how our parents and their decisions and actions shape who we are and will become). The movie benefits from some well-placed dark comedy and an excellent ensemble cast including Alec Baldwin, Timothy Hutton, Kieran and Rory Culkin (Macaulay's brothers), Jill Hennessey, Cynthia Nixon and Emma Roberts. Well-acted, written and directed, but it didn't quite blow me away. All in all, it's just an above average dysfunctional family film elevated by outstanding performances and commendable insight into human behavior. One of the better films of 2009 so far, but not the best. Rated R for language, some sexual content, violence and drug use. Genre: Drama/Comedy. 95 minutes. Available on DVD on 9/22/09. My score: 7.3/10

JOHNNY WAS (2006): Excellent British action/drama about a criminal who's gone straight and how he gets sucked back in to the world of crime. Sure, that premise sounds cliched, but this movie is actually quite original and takes this familiar storyline in interesting directions. I've never seen another film with both Irish terrorists and Jamaicans as central characters, and I'll be damned if that wasn't a captivating dynamic. Vinnie Jones plays Johnny, an ex-IRA bomber who wants to forget his past and now lives in London, sandwiched between a yardie drug dealer (Eriq LaSalle) and a Rastafarian DJ (Lennox Lewis). When someone from his past (Patrick Bergin) pays him a visit, demanding help and a place to hide, trouble ensues. Good performances by all involved, although Samantha Mumba was a bit wooden as a junkie for my taste. I was thoroughly entertained throughout and it must be mentioned that the Reggae soundtrack is top-notch and perfectly apt. Rated R for violence, pervasive language, drug use and brief nudity. Genre: Action/Crime/Drama. 93 minutes. Available on DVD on 9/19/06 . My score: 7/10

Mall Cops and Zombie Directors

Welcome to The Movie Man's blog. Here, you will find film reviews that range from obscure independent films to mainstream special effects fests. My taste in movies is quite eclectic. I watch it all, and I'll let you know what I think is worth your time and money and what wasn't worth making in the first place.
On the menu today, I've cooked up a couple movie reviews for those wondering what to watch this week.
OBSERVE AND REPORT (2009): From Jody Hill, creator of HBO's East Bound and Down, this bizarre dark comedy is sure to divide audiences. Personally, I loved it, but I feel that a disclaimer must accompany my recommendation. This is no Paul Blart: Mall Cop. This is more like Taxi Driver on drugs...in a mall. Seth Rogen plays Ronnie Barnhardt, the bi-polar head of mall security in this whacked-out farce. Fans of East Bound will most likely get a kick out of this, but those that like their comedies light should steer clear, because this film is loaded with amoral, corrupt characters. Rated R for pervasive language, graphic nudity, drug use, sexual content and violence. Genre: Action/Comedy. 86 minutes. Available on DVD/Blu-ray 9/22/09. My score: 7.2/10
THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO (2009): An animated film by Rob Zombie based on his own comic book. This is exactly what I would expect out of an animated movie from Rob Zombie: excessive violence, nudity and curse words. It's insanely juvenile, but if you know what you're in for it's a fun enough ride. Sure, there's no character development or substance, but I got some laughs out of it. The song numbers are especially hilarious, mainly because the lyrics make reference to the stupidity and crassness of the script. Some other jokes are redundant and tedious, but a good voice cast (including Paul Giamatti and Rosario Dawson) livens things up and has fun with their roles. Fans of Zombie's films, Heavy Metal (the 1981 animated film), Ralph Bakshi's work, or males aged 16-30 who like a little humor with their sex and violence should check this out, but others beware (particularly the easily offended). Rated R for strong crude and sexual content throughout, nude graphics, language, violence and gore. Genre: Animation/Action/Comedy. 77 minutes. Available on DVD on 9/22/09. My score: 6.3/10